Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Hello, this is Kris, welcome to my blog cast, this is part two of my rant on breast cancer awareness month.

Sometimes the monster starts as a little tiny bump, a lump or scratch. Sometimes it catches our eye right away, and at other times it goes unnoticed for days, weeks or months. But once that creature has caught our attention we are very aware from then on that there is something abnormally wrong inside our bodies, be it small or large. It could even be some funky lab results.  Whatever!

If you have paid  attention to Yahoo or any of the other news networks there have been a plethora of stories telling about doctors who missed the boat and misdiagnosed patients for months, even years as they slowly died or almost died from cancer.

I cannot tell you the number of people that I have personally known, because the list has gotten very long, that have had something abnormally wrong in their bodies and were told to watch and wait.

Some days I just want to scream when I hear the stories of women and men who have been told “ let’s watch it” and then were later diagnosed with cancer. Young mothers told they were “just tired.”  Young men who were scoffed at and told to come back in a few months.  The list goes on and on.

What is it?

I had a lump in my breast.  I noticed it one time when I was showering, isn’t that the story we always hear, it’s true. And I did what anyone else would do, I watched it for a few months.  Did I mention that the lump was tender, it was, so I assumed I had hurt myself helping my son move.

The first thing my doctor said was that I needed to have a mammogram as the lump shouldn’t be there as if I didn’t already know that.  I had the test which showed a small lump in my right breast.  I followed recommendation after recommendation after recommendation for almost two years. I had ultrasounds, mammograms, saw a surgeon who told me it was nothing “it’s too tiny to even bother with.”  I saw a breast specialist in Kansas City at a great cancer treatment center which I was so excited about because that is the place to go, “right?” the specialty place.  That’s where they will get things right!

Let me just say I was dumbfounded when she told me it was “nothing, nothing” and treated me as if I was a great bother to her.  She informed me when I mentioned that my lump was tender that “breast cancer isn’t tender, it isn’t tender, that is why we teach self-breast exams, it isn’t tender.”  Well God Dam it, mine was tender and stayed tender until they cut the bastard out.  Excuse my language.

Are you nuts, don’t wait.

Sadly, this specialist treated me like I was a complete idiot bothering her with this tiny lump.  She told me to go ahead and quit my job of 21 years with good health insurance to go to school and have horrible health insurance which is exactly what I did as I heard her voice saying, “it is nothing, nothing.”  She even stated that if it was her that she would do just go to school. Now I will share that she said, and I swear this is true, “I can go in and traumatize your body, but if it was me, I wouldn’t bother.”

Can I ask who out there would say, “oh, okay, yeah, traumatize my body.”  My reaction was hell no I don’t want you to traumatize my body if there is no reason.  I just want to go to school.  I just want to get my nursing degree, and in my second full semester I also got to do chemotherapy which almost killed me, and radiation.  What a success story!  And what hell those months were for myself and my son.

So, the theme for today’s blog is that if you have something wrong in your body rather it’s a lump in your breast, in your testicle, in your neck, under your armpits or in your groin have it checked out, please.

If your doctor says let’s watch it, that’s OK. It’s OK to wait a little bit and see what happens, but my push for you is that you strongly encourage your doctor to run tests and find out what this abnormal foreign body is inside of you. 

You could end up here.

It could just be a fatty cyst, but a fatty cyst can grow and attach to the muscle causing you problems. If it’s just a swollen lymph node watch it and figure out why the hell it’s swollen because our lymph nodes shouldn’t be swollen. If it’s your blood work and your labs are abnormal go back for your rechecks. Don’t wait!

I must admit as a nurse I know patients who do not return for their follow ups like they are told, and honestly doctors are too damn busy to chase you down.

My book is about taking action, doing something now, don’t just watch and wait and wait and wait. Almost two years after I found that lump, I finally found out what it was.  Need I say I was so furious.  This lump that had been so small in the beginning had grown because I did as they said and “watched and waited.” By watching and waiting it had grown, moved out of the duct into the breast tissue resulting in me suffering through chemotherapy and radiation in my second and third semesters of school.

There is more to the story that I will cover through the month of October, or you can read my book that is for sale on Amazon.  The most important thing for you to understand is to take action sooner rather than later so that you don’t have to fight the monster in your body.

Let’s start a new mantra this year, and for all the years to come.  Let us shout it from the rooftops, TAKE ACTION NOW against any cancer so that you will live another day and not have to fight the demon that may be hiding out in your body. And as I always say, have a great day today, you and I deserve it..

The Ripple Effect.

Have you ever thrown a rock into a pool of water and watched the ripples run along the surface? The wave goes on and on for some time. It’s mesmerizing. Even after we are no longer able to see these ripples they are still traveling through the water, sometimes all the way to the other shoreline.

The same is true when we throw something through the air, the molecules in the air move and the ripple continues on, possibly to infinity. I believe our words have the same effect. They travel through so many.

This ripple effect is a powerful occurrence, and in the context of this blog it means that any action or inaction that we take has an effect on the things going on in our lives, and the lives of those around us.

When I was studying mediation I was taught that everything we do has a ripple effect on all the things around us. They can be positive or they can be negative. We must decide how we want the ripples to influence others.

Just contemplating our actions or in-actions before we move forward can influence our behavior to do better, be better and to help others or to be mean, hateful and hurtful.

Right how in this time we are having so many hateful words thrown out into the world from one person to the next. Hateful acts of violence in the name of what? Bodily harm done to so many that is influenced by the haters cheering this behavior on in others.

Beauty is all around us.

Have you ever had someone say or do something terrible to you? Think about that ripple effect that might have occurred. You probably felt hurt. You might have treated someone else badly, and then went home to your family and treated them badly. All because someone did something to you.

Can you see the ripple effect in your life when you think of your actions in any given moment? Did your actions make someone cry, feel hurt, or did they leave a smile on their face, perhaps a little hope in their heart? We each have that kind of power to hurt or help. How we choose to use it falls on us. Take a look at the world and see all the horrible ripples running through right now. We must change the course of the hate racing through this great country. We must be an example of what we expect of others.

I forgive all those who are caught up in the chaos. There is much that has happened on both sides of that story. Our feelings, and the feelings of others are so contagious. I ask that each of us stops for a moment and ask ourselves what we are projecting out into the world around us.

Sadly our children are seeing this chaos and reacting in a bad way as well. We must show them that forgiveness is a good thing, caring for another human being shows our humanity, and helping others is not a bad virtue, but a high goal to reach toward.

I say open the window in your heart and let the fresh air in. Let the past be past. Reach for a brighter day. Help the children let go of their fear, a fear that I am sure is consuming their little hearts as they see the adults in their lives going crazy. Assure them that all will be well. Tell them it was just a moment of insanity for this great world we live in.

Together we have the power.

Each of us can make it a better day for those around us by being kind. By being respectful. By demonstrating the kind of treatment that we hope to receive from those around us. We have the power to make this country a better place. We have the power to be a better human being. It just takes one person, just like that one drop of water to begin creating an ocean. And as I always say have a great day today. You and I deserve it.

Meditation and Healing

Hi this is Kris, welcome to my blog cast, I know it’s been a bit. I have come to the conclusion that my spirit animal is a turtle as it takes me awhile to get things done. Today’s topic for my blog cast is meditation and healing.

Meditation is as simple as taking a breath of fresh air.  That’s correct. Take a deep breath and slowly blow it out.  That’s it, meditation completed.  How long and what you want to do with your meditation is an open vista of possibilities.

I feel that you may think this is too simple but, really, it is that easy.  The rest of your meditation is what you want your focus to be on or no focus at all, just relaxation.

There is a great thought that the human body is 99.9999 percent empty space and here is a link to explain that belief. https://www.sciencealert.com/99-9999999-of-your-body-is-empty-space It’s a great article. Take a moment to read it.  Interesting stuff.

I for one totally believe and use that belief at times when I am doing a mediation myself.  What I love to do is go outside, let the sun or wind blow across my body as I image it cleaning and sweeping all the debris away from inside my cells. 

If you doubt this is possible image all the “waves” crashing through your cells at this very moment.  Radio waves, light waves, television waves, micro waves, infra-red waves and every other kind of wave that we know exist, so, why can’t we use the energy of the sun and wind to clear our cells?

What I can promise is that you will come away from your meditation feeling calmer and more at peace.  Isn’t that healing? Of course it is. 

So much is going on in the world to clog every particle of life upon this planet. But we can use the power of our minds, the sun and wind, and clear things away, even if only for a moment. 

Take time for yourself, take several long moments, and as I always say, have a great day, you and I deserve it!

STOP THE CHAOS NOW

( I want to repeat this one) Silence from my end is not a good thing being a poor blogger, but my excuse, if you even care, is that I have been in a total state of shock as I have watched and listened to the stories of violence and destruction that have exploded all over this country.

How do I even have a conversation with you when there are so many earth-shattering events occurring? The feelings that are surging through each one of us, every single day is so toxic. I’ve sat back for months watching, listening, crying, shaking my head so disturbed by what has been happening that I am left speechless.  Frozen. I move through the day like a robot functioning on auto pilot. 

I ask myself is there anything of value that I might have to share? Who gives a shit what some no name individual thinks or feels?  Who am I to talk about any of this it is so horrible.?

I want to know how do we overcome these wounds? How do we heal from these profound injuries to our hearts? How do we stop the chaos?

I know that anything I might say to you has probably blown through your mind at one time or another just as it has mine. Somehow, some way we must come together.

There is so much hatred spewing out into the world I can’t even imagine how we can contain it. We humans are so vile to each other in so many ways that I fear for my life. For your lives. For my children lives. The fear is unimageable.

Stories pour out of every news outlet available. Some offer vivid pictures if you can’t imagine it yourself. I have no doubt everyone is talking about all the destruction that is and has been occurring. There can’t be anyone who isn’t shocked, ashamed, and disgusted by what one human can inflict on another.

I move through my day-to-day business in a state of shock.  I interact with my family and friends. I go to work, pay my bills, but there is this impending feeling of doom inside my chest that is so new to me that I can’t even grasp how to express it or to eliminate it. This fear is embedded deep in my heart.

Saying we must come together is not enough. The words are meaningless. The horror that has happened in the last of couple years has shaken all of us to our very core. Sometimes I stand and just stare at the television feeling like a trapped animal. I don’t know how to make things better. I don’t have any answers on how to change it except for platitudes like “We need to love each other. We need to help each other.  We need to come together. “  Bullshit, we need to stop the violence on all spectrums, against ALL PEOPLE.

I know that there are great individuals out there doing wonderful things. There are organizations and groups of people that are plugging along trying to make it a better place, but I think we all feel so helpless, and for me it’s not a feeling that I’ve often felt, so I am frozen and frightened and don’t know where to turn. Our leaders don’t have an answer, and the tide keeps moving in. How is it going to end?  How can we make it end?

How do we as individuals, and as a group take control of this violence?  How do we step into the storm of hatred and bigotry to bring an end to this? People are dying, children are being murdered, strangers are assaulting strangers for no other reason than they feel hate at what they see .

The color of one’s skin is something to hate.  The nationality of another is something to loathe.  People’s sexuality is despised. Rich hate poor, and poor hate rich.  Your religion is a reason to hate despite what your holy book preaches, and someone just doesn’t like the way you look.

I’m not a religious person. I don’t go to church. I have not had great experiences with preachers who run churches, and although I was raised a Catholic, I gave that up because the nuns and priest looked down their noses at the poor in our parish with no money to give. We were a very poor family.  Not a good experience for us.

In the past I was not one to believe in the end of the world theories told by religious leaders to keep us all in tow.  Discussions by those leaders that the world was going to come to an end in fire and brimstone. These preachers and such liked to fire up the fear and hysteria in its congregants.  It was part of the reward of being a “leader” the power to evoke sinners to be less sinful. But after witnessing all this violence. The hatred. The bombings and wars. Murders, rape, and genocide, I think those prophets who have said the world is going to end are correct.

We humans are going to be the catalyst that ends our world. This world that has been given to us is going to be destroyed by us because we are so foolish and stupid that we let our extremism, our extreme racism, are extreme sexism, our extreme religiousism get in our way of appreciating all that has been given to us. I mean you add any ISM to any bigoted idea that you have and that’s what we’ve become, a people of intolerance and hatred who disrespect their world, and each other with total disregard for human life, total disregard for the animal kingdom, total disregard for the oceans of the world, and the planet that God gave for our safe keeping.

Despite my personal feelings I will share with you that I do believe in a higher power.  I do believe in a God, and I think it is time for all of us to come together and offer up a prayer to our God for the strength, knowledge, and courage to evoke a change in our world right now.

I ask that together we stop everything that we are doing and say a prayer in whatever language we speak, asking whatever higher power we pray to, to help us heal this world. Those of a scientific mind probably are aware that there have been many studies that verify that prayer can and does make a difference.  Put aside your doubt and be open to that fact that as a massive world of people we can come together in prayer, and perhaps jump start our humanity back on track.

I will pick a time and together we will say a prayer to bring these horrible events to an end and bring us all back into balance because right now, we are tilting out of orbit as humans.

Let us get together tomorrow at sunrise, or any sunrise that works for you as (there are 7,868,872,451 people on this planet right now as listed on google so there will be a multitude standing by your side whatever time you say your prayer.)  Get up, face the rising sun, and offer a prayer to God that sanity will be restored to our people. Image the multitudes standing beside you as you say your prayer for our world and each other as well. And as I always say, have a great day today, you and I deserve it.

Take A Moment, Turn Off The Television!

Scary stuff going on!

Tonight I am going to turn in a more serious direction by starting with a question. What the hell is going on in the world? I recommend we take a moment to gather our thoughts and feelings in order to move away from the chaos that is erupting everywhere. I mean, what is wrong with people.

It seems as though all the craziness is bursting through the seams of their very being. People are being influenced by the hatred and bigotry of a group of mad humans who are looking to harm anyone who gets in their way or disagrees with them. It seems as though the world is infused with madness. Really!

I went several days without watching any television or news programs. I felt great. I had forgotten how toxic television can really be, and how it influences our mood and well being.

Everywhere on the TV the news creators are keeping the public mad with fear, hatred, and bigotry. I think to myself this can’t be real, but it is. At least that is what they are trying to make us believe with the stories they are sharing.

Even when I watch my favorite news station ” One America News Network” I am left with a bad taste in my mouth. All the revelations about corruption, greed, racism, and sex has worn me out. I do not believe that there are that many horrible, detestable people in the world. Are there really?

I am going to play devil’s advocate and say that no one can ” make ” us be a bad person. It is our choice. That’s right! It is our choice to turn away from those in need. It is our choice to spit in the face of someone we have been programmed to hate, and it is our choice to be the kind of person who is no longer human.

I think we need to take a moment, take a breath, and look at the world around us. We need to step away from our fears and hatred. Who are we really? What do we have to be thankful for in this world. What are some of the GOOD things going on right now! And, how can WE change the programming of our mind to forgive and move onward?

It is possible to change what direction our lives are going. It is possible to become a better person. All it takes is the desire to change, and the responsibility to make it happen.

I was watching a video on Yahoo one day, it has been awhile, but it made me smile. It showed that there are indeed good people in the world. This video showed some men saving a mother dog and her pup. I could not find the video, but I want to tell you the story.

A mother dog and one pup was stuck along the rim of a drainage pool down this deep embankment, and they could not traverse back up the very steep side to safety. Each time they tried they slid back toward the water.

In the distance were several guards who heard the frantic whimpers of the animals and came to look. The men were speaking Russian or Ukrainian, some language that I could not understand although the message was clear.

Will they help or not?

I will say that there were two scenarios that could have occurred. One, they could have laughed at the peril of these animals and walked away, leaving them to finally fall into the water and drown. Or two, they could have been good humans and helped.

These big hulking men gathered a rope from their truck, and while two of them were holding the line, the other slid down this steep embankment to the mother dog and pup. Both of the animals were jumping on this fellow with their tails wagging. It was a sight that brought tears to my eyes. The man grabbed the pup first, and the two men at the top pulled him back up to safety.

In the video we could see the mother dog scrambling around close to the waters edge, tail wagging, watching the rescue of her baby.

Once safely at the top the second men took the puppy while the first skidded his way back down to the mother dog who leaped into his arms the moment he was close enough to reach and up they went to join the trio at the top.

At the end of the video the little group crossed along the top of the embankment to safety. I could not understand one word that was being said while the men organized this rescue, but the message was very clear. They were good Samaritans who could not leave a helpless creature in need.

This video reminded me that while there is so much hatred and anger being projected across our television screen, there are still wonderful people who take time out of their day to helps others in need, or do a good deed for some lowly creature.

I worked newborn nursery many years ago. It was a beautiful place to work. A place where life often begins. Babies come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. No one ever hesitated to soothe a child in need. No one could resist the opportunity to snuggle a baby close who was having a hard time settling into this great big new world. No baby shied away from a set of hands reaching to care for it because the hands were black or white.

What I ask of you, and myself, is to take a moment to look at the good things that are going on in the world. Look at all the wonderful videos on YOUTUBE of great things occurring around you. Look at all the marvelous people reaching out to others across this great world wide web who want to help and educate. It is a revelation to see. It is heart warming. It will change your mood entirely.

Look at my little Picasso

If I know one truth it is that we are influenced by the people who surround us. If we surround ourselves with war mongrels we will be one as well. If we surround ourselves with self loathing and hateful people, we come to loath ourselves, and others too. And if we surround ourselves with those who want to harm others, then we will reach out to do harm as well. It is a truth. It is a reality right now.

All I ask is that you test this truth by changing the people who influence you if your life is in chaos and you want it to change. We are what we bring into our lives. We are the people who surround us. No one can make us be who we do not want to be. It is our choice.

You can also test this truth by watching videos of people saving animals, helping children, working to save the environment, giving to the elderly, or helping their neighbors. After such exposure we often come away feeling a whole lot better. It influences us to want to help as well, just like the hatred influences us to hate.

I am saddened by the things I see going on in the world. So much pain, and while I can’t change anyone else, I can change myself. I can pick and choose what I will watch, who I will associate with, and whether I will give of myself or not. Those are the only things I can control. Those are the only things you can control.

We do have a great country. It has so much potential. It is the people of this country who can make it great or destroy it. What kind of person do you want to be? We can not change the past. I am not responsible for what my ancestors did or did not do. I can feel sad that they may have made bad choices or done bad things, but I can say that I have not been one to do bad things as well. Can you?

I have been to other countries where the people were not as fortunate as we. Where their governments did not look after their citizens as well as ours. It helped me appreciate all that I have in this world. When I am being greedy wanting ” more stuff” I am often brought back to the reality that I have all that I need. Many do not.

Take a moment. Take two. Look at your world and make it a better place. Each of us contributes to the chaos around us. Are we helping or hindering? Turn off the television set. Go out and help someone. Share an adventure with a family member or two. Give of yourself. Do a good deed without being asked or expecting a reward. Forgive a wrong that has been done to you, ask for forgiveness of some harm you may have caused. And, love yourself. You have the potential to be a great person. You and I have a choice. Let’s make today a better day. We can do this together. We have the power to do great things. And as I always say, have a great day today. You and I deserve it.

Let’s stand together ( this guy was on my fence).