What We Do Matters!

Happy Sunday, this is Kris wishing you a great day today. Hope everything has been going well.

I want to go in a different direction. I want to get away from some of the sad stories that I have been talking about, like incest and rape.  Those can bring us down for sure.

I want to talk about the effect our actions have on everything around us. Sometimes we think in our day-to-day interactions with each other that most things do not matter, when in reality they really do.

Each little thing that we do has an influence on everything and everyone around us.

There is a wonderful story that I want to tell you so just sit back and listen. I am not going to write it down.  It is a starfish tale.

So we need to remember that our actions even though they may seem simple, and people might ask “ what difference does it make.” Everything we do makes a difference.

Every interaction we have with each other affects that life force in some way.  We get to decide if it is good or not by how we interact.

Are we being kind, or are we being a jerk?  Have we said something nice to someone or have we been mean?  Each thing matters.  Each interaction matters.  And remember our words matter just as well.

I am going to tell you another story.  It is about my experience with a store clerk so again you can sit back and relax while I tell my tale.

And that was the end of my going to that store. I felt I did not need to frequent a place where the cashier was going to treat me poorly.  Did my not going back hurt the store.  Probably not, it was a large chain, but perhaps my retelling of the story will enlightened others to not tolerate someone being unkind to them.

We must be mindful in our interactions with others. We need to be aware of how we treat another person as it does matter.  Your actions can influence that person in a good or bad way.  We have that power.

Keep that in mind when you are interacting with your friends and family. Remember that each little interaction that you have has an impact on that relationship. It affects their day. Effects how they may feel for the rest of the day.

If you can think of that and be mindful of being kind and gentle with someone you may have a great day yourself.  I believe what goes around comes around.  We get back what we give out.  

So, for today I want you to have a great day.  Enjoy whatever is going on inside or out and remember that you do have the power to influence others.

Offer a smile or a kind word.  Be a positive influence. Do not be a negative person. Look at your blessings, be glad of what you have today.

Each day is another opportunity to get things right.  We are the directors of our lives. We are the guides on this journey called life.

So, as I always say have a great day today, you and I deserve it. And smile at someone just for today.

” Speaking Openly To My Gay Daughter”

I am going in a totally different direction today. I want to talk about a topic that I have never spoken openly about in the past. I had an epiphany the other day while I was browsing Facebook, and I want to share this new perspective in the hope that it may change your perspective as well.

Many of us react in a certain way when our daughters or sons reveal to us that they are gay. The first thing to come to mind is the sex part. “How can they have sex with a woman or man of the same sex?” I know when I my daughter first revealed to me that she was leaving her marriage of ten years for a woman she had recently met, I was shocked.

I could not believe that she was attracted to a woman, and that she was willing to change her whole life over this attraction. I was mortally wounded that she would disrupt our lives, and selfishly thought only of my feelings under the guise of worrying about the family.

I grew up with a certain perspective about life. About what direction our lives should go in the whole scheme of things. Shock slammed into me along with a bit of cardiac pain over the fact that my daughter could be gay.  I wondered where this came from.  I asked myself had she always felt this way. I wondered about her sanity at leaving her family behind to live a life as a gay woman.  Need I say there was a barrage of questions that screamed through my brain along with a load of disappointment.

It is hard for me to admit my initial feelings. I tried to hide my true reactions under a mask of acceptance. I could not understand how she could feel this way, how she could let it lead her astray, and how she could leave her life behind. A life that I thought was fairly good.  Let me say it again, the life I thought was fairly good.  And there lies the dilemma. 

Parents, to include myself, have a certain picture of what we want our children’s lives to be as adults. There is wealth, of course.  There is success, naturally, and there is stardom.  Never do we see them being anything else. We have lofty goals for them, and when this does not happen, we are let down. I would never have guessed that my daughter was gay. She hid it so well.

I spent years puzzled and questioning my daughter’s sanity because she left behind a “good life” with a husband who made a ton of money, a nice home, and a wonderful child, to live a life of uncertainty. I honestly hate to admit that is how I felt, but I must admit to it, to explain my new perspective.

Life is more than a sexual act with another, it is more than sex between people. There is so much more to a relationship then just that physical part. I am not saying the physical part is not important, because it is, but what each brings into that relationship is so much more vital to our sanity, and well-being.  Many couples have stayed together “ for the children” only to find that their children were miserable the whole time.

We should not judge people, let me backtrack and say, I should not judge others by some label that has been applied to them or any group of individuals. We are seeing this so much in the news right now. It is toxic and deadly.

I need to put this in perspective for me. I must not judge others by what I think or how I feel they should live their life, so that it fits into my idea of a good life.

Love comes in my shapes, sizes, and colors.

I had an epiphany recently, which is unfortunate it took me so many long years, regarding my daughter and her life. You see my daughter and her partner often post pictures on Facebook, and one day this revelation came to me, and that is that she is in a great relationship with Ali, her partner.

Their pictures are full of fun, good food, and great family moments, sadly I am not in them. What the pictures reveal is a lot of happiness and joy in their lives. What parent could ask for anything else for their child?

We get so caught up in what we expect life should be, and the labels we embrace that we miss the whole picture. Then we miss the real life behind those labels.

My daughter’s pictures demonstrate how much she and her partner care for each other. They are always together having one adventure after another, and that is so wonderful. Many of the pictures show them surrounded by lots of friends and family.

I will admit here that my granddaughter, my daughter’s daughter, has a wonderful relationship with her mother, who was involved in every phase of her life, up to and including this present moment in time.

The epiphany was the realization that Ali and my daughter are meant to be together. That they each fill a void in the others’ life.

Our goal in life, our real goal, should be to be the best person that we can possibly be with the time we are given. With each encounter with another person something is gained.  An exchange occurs, be it good or bad.  I really believe that there are no coincidences in life. We are meant to meet; share what we have to share, and then move on or not.  It is our gift to each other.

Each interaction happens for a reason, I really believe this. The people in our life are there to help us become better humans.  We choose whether we are going to learn this lesson.

When I looked at my daughter’s pictures what I realized was that perhaps their connection is meant to help them feel loved, confident, secure, and safe in a world that can often be unsafe. They are fulfilling a necessary role in each other’s lives.  

Who am I to judge them, or anyone for that matter?  How dare I feel or think that their way of life, that their choices are wrong.  Our goal is to be better people, and I think they are the greatest.  That can never be wrong.

When I see those images they posted, I feel such happiness for my daughter and her partner for the joy they have found in each other. I am thrilled for her that her life appears to be good, that she is happy in her relationship, and that she is satisfied in her life. That is more than many people can say about their lives right now.

We want our children to accomplish great things, but what does that mean?  Are we saying we want them to have a wonderful, high paying job that may not necessarily be filled with happiness?

Do we want them in heterosexual relationships that might just be shitty because that “other word” is not to our liking?

Or should we hope that they find happiness and become the best they can become, because that is what I hope for my children, and grandchildren.  I want them to find great people, really great people to help make their lives happy.

When we look at our kids and their significant others, we need to ask are they kind to each other, are they considerate, do they respect each other, are they supportive, are they a help mate or an abusive mate? That is the question!

Each connection that we make with another happens for a reason whether it is a millisecond, hours, days or lifetime. We are together for a reason, and we should ask what lesson there is to learn in this relationship.  What gift can I give to this human?

There is a story about a doctor and a homeless man.  I will tell it, but I am not going to write it down. And here it is. …………..

Is it a true story, I do not know, but the message is clear. We do not know what our influence on another might be in that moment we are together. We should make it the best moment for both of us. Hopefully, we will walk away feeling a little better having met. If not, we have failed as humans.

I hope that my moments with others are good ones. My daughter’s life is not about who’s gay or who’s not gay or who’s having sex or how they’re having sex or any of that, but instead begs the question, is she a good person, sharing her life with good people?  That is my real goal for her, and it looks to me like she has accomplished that goal.

I want to say when we are judging people, judging their lifestyle, we need to ask ourselves what am I really judging here, my ideas of life, or theirs?  We need to ask how can we look at them differently? And, the most important way is to ascertain that they are good human beings. That is more important than any label, name, or category we could possibly place them in. I am sure you have heard this saying “I may not remember what you said to me, but I will remember how you made me feel.”  I for one want to leave you feeling a little better for having met. 

To my daughter I want to say “I am so proud of you.” You are a wonderful person, and I love you so very much.”  And to everyone else I want to say thanks for stopping by and HAVE a great day today, you and I deserve it.

Going To The Dark Side

Hi, this Kris wishing you a great day today. It is lovely here in Kansas. I want to say that I appreciate everyone’s time and attention. If you are like me right now, I am running around crazy, motivated to clean and organize everything, thanks to our lovely weather.

I get this way when spring is near.

I am sure you have noticed the picture on my blog. This is a promotion for my new book that will be coming out in 90 days or less.  It is a true story, and it is a sad story, but it is important for all of us to talk about this type of topic.

Rape and incest have been in the news so much lately. Sadly, when we hear about these types of crimes the blinders go down and we look the other way.

I understand that kind of reaction as crimes against children are horrific. We do not want to acknowledge that anything so awful could be happening, but they are.

When I think of the crimes committed against children it makes me sick. It makes me sad, but this is something that is happening in this country and around the world.

By writing my story I hope that it will help others admit to what is going on behind closed doors against our children, against young girls and boys, and against our young women.

These are acts so horrendous that people have numbed themselves to having any kind of reaction when they hear of these kinds of crimes.

We must not do that, we must help victims of rape, molestation, and incest.

We must give them the opportunity to talk about their trauma. We must open the door for them to speak.

Right now, I am giving you the cover to get you thinking. Hopefully, you will want to read my story. My book should be available on Amazon in 90 days or less.

I currently have another book on Amazon titled “Screw Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Take Action Now. The New Mantra.”

These two topics are especially important to me, very special. Part of my life.  My desire is to share my experiences with others so if they are struggling with the fear of cancer or being haunted by crimes that have been committed against them, I would like my words to help.

If I could sit down with each and every one of you and have a conversation about both topics, I would accomplish my lifetime goals.  

So, for today look at my blog page, think about the topics, think about your reactions, and send me your comments or feelings. Tell me what you think.

I will add your words to my blog as I get feedback, and the release date draws nearer.

I am sure after hearing from all my viewers we will have an extended discussion so be prepared for a long blog cast soon.

For today as I always say I want you to have a great day. I hope it is beautiful wherever you are. And remember that you can make it a beautiful day no matter what the weather or circumstance. Do not let things get in the way of stopping you from having a great day. You and I deserve it.

Naked Stars Everywhere.

Greetings this is Kris from Lifeview101.com

I am going to go on a tangent tonight because I just can’t take it when every time, I look at Yahoo, some star somewhere is showing me their near naked body. It is like looking at a rag magazine there are so many female would be, used to be, stars. exposing their nakedness. Many of them showing us how at the ripe old age of 30 or 40 or 50 they look wonderful. I want to smack the ones that do the post baby body pictures. As if that is the most important thing they should be thinking about right now. Really!  I don’t give a dam about their bodies, how are the babies doing?

Why do they care about how they look? Why are they constantly flashing naked or near naked pictures at us?  Is it just to get our attention?  Is it just to see our reaction to them being exposed? Are they that insecure?  Do they really need that much attention?   

I am appalled every time I look at Yahoo, but I can’t resist. It’s like I just have to look and see what kind of garbage I’m going to be inundated with because that’s what happens five or six or seven times in a row. Some star or some social media star posing naked.

I can’t stand it. Why do they feel that they have to do this in this day and age when we’re talking about the “ Me too movement” along with all the stories about the many mentors, coaches, and others molesting innocent people. And all the violence that is going on.

Why do these women think that they need to show us their body?  Are they doing it to make themselves feel worth wild, as if we don’t care about who they are unless they’re standing there half naked?

I say it’s got to stop. These women have got to stop feeding into the fact that their bodies are more important than the person who they really have become.

What about their brain? Not one of them has shown or highlighted for us what wonderful things they have done for anybody or any community. Here are these rich women and they care more about flaunting their six pack everywhere, and then they care about doing anything great. There is not a damn word written about what outstanding things they’ve done for children or battered women or cancer patients or old women that need help to retire like myself.

No, it’s just another naked picture, after another naked picture of themselves. Why can’t they see people need help?  Right now there are so many stories about some newscaster, another teacher, another coach, another Hollywood mongrel who has abused someone under their care, and all the these stars care about are how they “still have their beach bodies.”

Naked?

Now I understand it is their right, it is their body, they can do with it what they want, I understand that saying, but you must remember that part of the sexual attraction between human beings for most of us is how that other person looks. We use our eyes, our touch, our sense of smell to become aroused in order to mate, that is what nature intended when we see a beautiful body male or female.

You cannot tell me there isn’t someone, somewhere who isn’t getting aroused looking at JLo’s six pack, or her slithering down a pole. Or seeing Beyonce’s breast, or someone’s neither regions peaking through a see-through outfit. You cannot tell me that isn’t stimulating someone’s libido. What idiot would believe that is not happening?

Do you not think there are things going on in the dark with them on the big screen?  If you think that you are a fool.

But here is my question, what happens to the beast you have aroused in your state of near nakedness if there is no one to soothe them.  Who will get the brunt of that energy? 

My point is your near nakedness, or naked pictures are stirring up some fiend somewhere. When you think of the masses that look at Yahoo in these places, imagine the number of people doing things in the dark that we don’t want to imagine.

I am not trying to be crude; I’m not trying to be cruel, but these are images that are stirring up desire in people. How can they not? These are beautiful women showing everything they have to show.

I want to tell you that statistics show us that sexual trauma, sexual abuse, sexual molestation are happening all the time. The numbers are  staggering and are constantly growing.  I looked up a site and one site said that every 9 minutes a child is being molested by someone they know and love.

I want you to hear this again, EVERY 9 minutes a child somewhere in this country is being molested by someone they know and trusted.’

Isn’t she a doll. She felt so pretty.

Doesn’t that make you gag! Now I’m not saying these people posing nearly nude on Yahoo are causing that, or it’s their fault, but when you stand there posing naked, or near naked, I think that is definitely a mixed message.

Yes, you have the “right” to dress how you want, but you cannot expect to not cause a reaction when any normal human would have a reaction.  I think in some dark place within you that is what you are hoping to occur. You want to show people you have the “power.”

I do not know how you cannot expect someone, somewhere to become aroused when your lovely body is on display for everyone’s viewing pleasure. When you stand and flash pictures of being naked.

I don’t know how you cannot expect people to become aroused when our eyes are part of the sexual arousal makeup of human beings.

So, what is your point in posing nude? What is your point showing us your beach bodies again? What is your point in flashing your breast or butts or whatever else you are showing off.

What is the dam point? Are they trying to make us fatties feel bad?  Are they trying to make us ugly ducklings feel uglier?  Are they trying to show us that the good in our heart is worthless if you do not have a six pack.

What gratification are they getting out of flashing us? Are they really that insecure?  Do they think that no one will notice them if they are not near naked?

I would like each and every one of them who have posed half naked or naked in the last 30 days to explain to me “what you are gaining from that exposure.” Are you so insecure that you feel you have to flash us pictures of yourself, so we do not forget who you are?

She is so much more than a pretty face.

I want to hear what great things these millionaires are doing for all the people that need help.

I want to hear how they are helping their communities that are suffering right now. All the children that cannot afford to do their school lessons because they do not have computer service at home or because their internet services are mediocre.

I want to hear how they are feeding the hungry.  I want to hear how they are helping single mothers support their children in this time of need.

I want to hear how they have started little companies for our children to find employment at as all the little moms, and pops are closing up, and taking away our teens work force.

Instead of helping all we hear and see are these wealthy stars or semi-stars running around showing their naked bodies “going look at me look at me aren’t I beautiful” when they could be creating jobs for people. When they could be starting companies that would help those in need of work. When they could be starting some kind of grant system to help those who no longer have the funds to support their families.

Let us stop flashing our nakedness around, let us stop thinking that the most important thing about us is our bodies as I feel that is what these women on Yahoo are telling millions of viewers. They are saying that they are so important because they are willing to tone their butts, and chisel their abs.

What about their children, their daughters.? How are they feeling, and how are they going to feel if they get a little baby fat on themselves.?  Are they going to puke in the toilet, are they going to refuse to eat so they can look like mommy and daddy? Remember as the hormones start raging in their teens many new things happen to their bodies. We do not want them ashamed of that, we want them to accept how they look in the moment.  Not how they will look after a tummy tuck.

What are these kids going think is most important? How they look or what they do for the world?

Image if the caterpillar would have cut up his body. We would have missed this.

I think it’s time to stop flaunting your bodies to the world, who gives a “shit,” that is not who we are, that is not what makes us great.

I hope that is not what makes you great, but what can make you great is that you have the ability, the connections, the funds to help so many people.

Instead, you spend hours at the gym toning your abs so that you can flash them on Yahoo. Did you ever think to provide gyms for the many children who have nowhere to go to burn off some of their energy? Do you know that child abuse is on the rise with so many stay at home kids?

You could provide the best computers to those who cannot afford them. You can give musical instruments, lessons. and art supplies to children who show a talent for that kind of gift.

I think it’s time for us as a society to turn away from our self-involvement, from our narcissistic attitudes towards our body and how wonderful we look. We need to turn towards each other and offer a helping hand.

I know that the stars and those other rich folks have worked hard to earn their money. I praise them for their hard work. They have motivated so many with their success stories and what they have accomplished. God has given you a gift. You have the resources available to help so many. I do not care that your name is on some charity somewhere, people do that all the time. But do you know what really happens with the money you give in the name of that charity.  How many of these charities actually help who they say they will help?

Instead of spending hours in a gym somewhere, you could spend hours in your communities, your old hometowns to see what is needed now.

I am sick and tired of looking at it Yahoo and seeing the nudity that is there. That is not all that important in this world, is it?  That is not what is important in the whole scheme of things.  

I want to see you helping children who cannot help themselves. Helping families that are struggling. If each one of you helped a different community, a different town, perhaps the one you grew up in, you would be reaching thousands of people.

She felt so lovely!

Please, I want to ask each and every one of you, can you show something besides your body. Something that young girls and boys can really hope to attain. Washboard abs are not important. Helping a starving family not starve is important.

Let young girls know that they do not need breast the size of watermelons, but instead hearts that size so we can love each other.  They do not need plastic surgery to remove their smile lines, they need to smile and laugh more with their family and friends.

Let them know that it is wonderful to give to others if you have been so blessed. Let us not change our faces, but instead change our attitudes as we are human beings, and we need to love and give to each other.

So, if this message reaches anybody, please pass this on, share this blog cast with others, so that they can help these stars feel confident in themselves. Let them know they do not have to show us their nakedness, we love them anyway. But if they cannot be outperforming and getting all the adoration they need; they can certainly earn it going out in their communities and sharing with the young.

We will still love them, we will still applaud them, please, please help the children, help those that are in need that do not have any food or heat or even a place to live.

Forget how you look, wash your face, put on your dungarees, and come out into the real world. And as I always say on my blog have a great day today you and I deserve it

What would your epithet read, ” here lies a great butt?”

BLOG CAST. LIVE FROM ME TO YOU.

Greetings from Lifeview101, my new blog cast!  ( This is Krissy)

I have finally admitted to myself that I am not getting enough people to read my blog, so I have chosen to include a blog cast on each new post. After all some of us like to read, and some of us just like to listen. On the blog itself I have tried to include some wonderful pictures from pixaby.com to enhance your viewing pleasure. This site has thousands of free pictures to download for anyone to use. A little donation would not hurt the artist either if you find something you really love, but it’s not required. I have found many pictures I’ve loved and used. Look at my blog pictures. Some are mine; and some are from pixaby.com

The most exciting thing about doing this blog cast is the fact that I can sit here and be in my pajamas. I can be in my underwear. I don’t need any makeup. I don’t need to fix my hair, it’s just you and me having a conversation.  I like that part. The not seeing somebody, just listening to each other so that we don’t allow our prejudice, or our own bias to get in the way of developing a friendship. For now, it is just me talking, but if this turns into a great adventure then perhaps I will be able to expand and we can talk to each other one on one.

If there is something you want to share, or to talk about fill out my contact page on my blog, and I will try and get back to you as soon as I can. I will definitely share what you write, good or bad.

I believe that when we use our sight, the first thing that happens is we judge people for how they look to us without ever giving them a chance to shine through. We form many of our opinions on what we see, not on who people really are.

I think with blog casting, not having any video feed will give you the chance to really get to know me. To see who I am without forming any opinions by how I look, whether I’m fat or skinny, tall or thin, beautiful or not.

You know those are all terrible words to describe people that we frequently use. When we can’t use our vision though we have to use our other senses to develop an opinion about someone. And probably the best sense for us is to listen to the sound of their voice. When we’re listening to people we can form our own ideas of who they are by the sound of their voice, and by what they have to say.  Not by how they look. It should be a requirement in all fields.  What someone has to say that is.

I can hear you!

One of my favorite people who I fell instantaneously in love with at the sound of his voice was James Earl Jones. There isn’t anyone who has heard his voice and not fallen in love with the man. He has the most distinct, beautiful voice of anyone I have ever heard.

His laugh is great. It is so rich and deep you just have to smile when you hear it. I could listen to him talk forever. Listening to his voice is like being pulled by a magnet, you cannot help but be drawn to him.

This is what I want to do with my blog cast. I want to keep your first reaction, that first sight reaction out of the picture so you can hear me first, get to know me, and then form your opinions.  I don’t want you to see the color of my skin, or how old I am, and judge me.  I want you to listen and learn. Then you can decide to like or dislike me

Since this will be a new endeavor for us, I ask for your patience as this will be a learning experience for both of us. You get to see how goofy I can be, and I get to try and learn yet another new skill. When I first started my blog, it was a mess.  I could not get pictures to load, I was losing stuff. I almost gave up I was so frustrated. Thank heavens there are great helpers out there. You can look at my first pieces and see for yourself.

Right now, all I want to do is record my post for you, and if this turns into a success then I will tackle the more difficult task of turning this blog into a real downloadable podcast. You will be my life coaches, my team of analysts. 

One thing I have learned in life is that we often need to be motivated to keep going.  We all know what changes we need to make in our life, no one really needs to tell us that, but what we really need is new motivation.  A new way to hear the same old message. After all that is what many of these new authors are all about. Telling us things that we already know in a different, more appealing way.

I hope that my blog cast will tell you things in a new way too. One thing I have decided to do in the near future is release my new book as a weekly blog cast.  The thought is scary for me, but I think it will be more powerful for you to hear me read my own words. The story is not a happy love story, but one of a child’s trauma.  It is something I need to release to the world. Something I hope will help others.

So, I hope to hear from you in the future.  Please share with me your impression of my new way of sharing with you, my audience.  I hope we will succeed together. Until next time, as I always say, have a great day today, you and I deserve it. 

Hey we did it!!!!