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Blogcast 2: A Philosophical Tangent On Abortion

What a sweetheart.

I am going out on a limb here, but I have been up all night with these thoughts rambling around in my head. Finally, I couldn’t take it and decided to put my thoughts on paper.

When does the “me of me,” become me? At what point in the development of this ball of cells does the “me” enter into the equation?

No, I am not kidding! When do I enter the picture? When does the “me of me” become me, and where am I until that moment?

Do I enter this creation of cells at the moment of impact when sperm meets egg? Or the first doubling of the cells? Or do I enter after the hundredth? Or is it at the millionth?

When does the “me of me”, the feeling, sensing, thinking part of me come into this great ball of replicating, developing cells?

Where am I until I become the “me of me?” Do I exist at all? At what part of this developing creation do I enter? At what stage?

Science can not answer this question. No one can. The greatest minds have never been able to answer the question of when the “me of me” becomes me, during this life giving process in the development of a human being.

This form that is sitting here typing out these questions was specifically created for me. The I of me was placed inside of this huge mass of cells. It is me but, where is that part of me that feels, thinks, remembers, cries, loves, and creates? What is my location inside of this mass of cells? Am I in every cell? Am I inside my brain? Am I inside my knee? Or am I inside my heart? Where am I in this mix of cells? No one can answer these questions!

there’s both my girls

Do you know that some research has said that the human body is 1/2 to 1 pound lighter right after the moment of death! Is that me leaving this pile of cells? Or is the poo leaving my colon?

Science argues over the description of life and when it matters. It argues over when it is okay to destroy that ball of cells. It argues over when it is viable. But, it never mentions when it becomes “me” as the cells are churning and creating a human being. It never mentions when the “me of me” becomes part of these cells.

So, when you take those deadly sharp instruments and hack away at the cells inside, do you know that you are destroying the “me” of those cells as well! The “me” of those cells that was specifically created for the “me of me.”

How many abortions occur a year? What is the current statistic? A million, tens of millions, how many?

I worked college health for over twenty years and I can say for certainty from my own experience that over 90% of the young women who came into our office for information on abortion felt ” it just wasn’t the right time.”

These young women were not victims of rape. They were not giving birth to deformed monsters they didn’t want. They didn’t have a clue, ” it just wasn’t the right time.!”

The moment a sperm meets an egg and implants is that moment of creation. What becomes of that creation is up to nature, and the woman carrying that creation.

Abortion should not be used as a form of birth control. There are plenty of other options to use, abortion should not be a choice.

It seems that sex is in the news all the time in some form or other to sell everything from magazines to underwear. Every time I open yahoo someone is posing nude to ” show off their beach body”, so why are we so uncomfortable with our bodies, and what occurs at the time of intercourse, that we don’t take responsibility for that moment when creation occurs, and say to our partner, ” hey wait a minute.” It could save a life.

I would never have wanted to miss this moment.

I know many of the responses to this question, ” we didn’t plan it”, it was a one night stand”, “I don’t even know him or her that well,” ” I am not ready for a baby,” and on and on goes the merry go round.

Sadly what abortion has allowed to occur is that no one is responsible. You can just rake it out, dead or alive. No worries, ” it’s your body.”

I think as a society we have failed our young. We must educate them that intercourse can and will result in the creation, let me say this again, in the creation of another human being if we are not careful. That is what nature intended. Intercourse is the method, most times, by which another human being is created. It is how human beings continue on this earth, usually.

Do we tell our children that intercourse can and will result in the creation of another human being? Do they teach that in school? Do they USE those words.

It is not just about what disease they may catch, it is about what can and will occur if they have unprotected intercourse.

I have heard all the arguments so spare me. I know the drill, but along with my questions about the “me of me,” and when that begins, I want to ask another philosophical question or two!

What is your purpose in life? Who were you meant to become once the “me of me” entered your pile of cells? How do you know what your role will be in the creation of the “me of me” should you create another human being, if you just rake it out?

My girls!!! Thank you Lord.

Who decided the time was right at that moment when you were created? Was it really an accident or planned? Is life just one great big random moment in time?

Millions and millions of abortions a year! Millions and millions of ” me” that will never exist. Think about it! Could you have been a ” me of me” that did not exist? Was it the right moment for your sperm and egg donor to have a ” me”? Ask yourself that question!

I believe that most of us were just moments in time. Not planned at all. We just became the ” me of me” once those cells started replicating. So where is the ” me of me” until it meets it’s great big pile of cells? Who will take responsibility for that creation of life? Think about that? And as I always say, have a great day, you and I deserve it.

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Runner’s High

Hello this is Kris, welcome to my blog cast. I am sorry it has been so long. It is not as if there hasn’t been lots to write about. One just has to view the news to become stirred up. But sometimes it is just too much and talking about the day-to-day stuff seems irrelevant.

Chores and sleep keep me bogged down. I work a lot of nights and sleep becomes the most important part of my day. I get three or four hours, get up, do chores, then go back to bed so I can get maybe four more hours of sleep later.

Despite the fatigue from this schedule, I continue my walks with my best pal Tessie. She is getting old and decrepit and loves to get in her snuffles every day. Okay, I am getting old and decrepit as well.

Today we were walking on our favorite trail. The temperature was 55 degrees. The sun was shining, and it was so lovely for the end of November. Who could ask for anything more?

Hello

While I continue walking the trails, I have decided I will not go on a pilgrimage to Spain next year as there is just too much going on in the world that is unsafe. People are getting crazy. And there are just too many strains of COVID that make me a nervous wreck when I think of travelling. And yes, I have been vaccinated. I do not think it is any worse than all the other childhood immunizations we are required to get. I am a nurse and I know people have died from this dreaded disease, many people, and I think we all need to protect ourselves, and others as much as we can.

Well enough on that, I don’t want to spoil anyone’s Thanksgiving weekend. Besides, I want to talk about something trivial, like the runner’s high you hear people talking about. I am sure you have heard it mentioned. How it is almost better than drugs, but can I ask you have you ever witnessed anyone running that looks like they are on a lovely trip in their minds?

No of course you haven’t! Most runners I see running on my trails look like they are trying to take a good dump. Sorry but it is true. They run along groaning and moaning. Sweating, straining, and spitting snot on the trail as they hurl past me. Where is the high part, I want to ask them? It certainly isn’t evident when they run past. I have not seen one person jogging along with a smile on their face. They look like it is painful. I am sure they feel such superiority as they race by, and I am “only walking for exercise”, but at least I don’t look like I am going to lose my lunch.

I’ve heard the saying runners high, and I’m sure you have too, but my question is when does that occur. As I’m walking along and these runners zoom past me, they have this horrible look on their faces as if they’re in pain, as if they’re constipated. Their feet are slamming on the ground as they hurry past flinging sweat in my direction. If I see them before they zoom by, I give them a wide berth, so I don’t get their body fluids flung on me. How can we know when they are finally high, from running, when they look like they’re dying?

Okay, there may be a smirk somewhere.

To me a runner’s high should present the appearance of being happy. These people don’t look happy and high, they look like they’re on their last leg. I don’t want to get a runner’s high if that’s what I’m going to look.

I know that exercise is good for all of us, and I shouldn’t make fun of people that are out there really trying to exercise, but can you tell me when that high hits you. When on your short or long run do you actually feel happy and relaxed.  Does it really ever happen or is it a myth. From my experience I am leaning toward myth.

I walk at least five times a week with my dog Tessie. You may have seen her pictures in the past. And I can tell you I have never reached a walker’s high. There are some days when it’s lovely out, but the walking part is tedious. I’d rather be laying in the leaves smelling the scent of autumn then walking or running. I usually can’t wait to get home to my couch. I’d rather be sitting with my feet up relaxing although I do love the great outdoors, and the sunshine on my face. Occasionally I see wildlife hiding in the trees and brush like deer and turkeys, turtles too. That does bring a little rush of happiness. I guess you could call that a “ high” as I watch these animals share in my space.

I also love crushing the leaves as I walk, there are a gazillion leaves on the grass right now, it is like stepping on a large pile of potpourri. So, while I cannot admit to any “high” gained from my walks, I will say that it always makes me feel better once I have completed my trek, and Tessie and I share in a cool drink of water. Isn’t that what life is about, finding moments of contentment. It is so important right now in these troubled times to let go of the stress brought on by current events, and differences of opinions. Take a moment to steep yourself in something that brings you comfort and peace. I am not talking about any drugs or alcohol. I am talking about things in nature, music, laughter, and family and friends. How many videos have you see where people share their joy in owning a pet? I love my dog Tessie, she is twelve now, not too much time left, but I will cherish each moment. Find some moments that you can cherish as well, and as I always say, have a great day today, you and I deserve it.

Tessie loves her buddy Hudson

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“Oprah Winfrey: Where is Oprah?”

Hello, this Kris, welcome to my Blog Cast.  Today I want to title this.

“ Oprah Winfrey: Where Are You?”

Today’s topic is powerful people. Who would you name as one of the most powerful people in the world?  What name comes to mind when you hear those words?

When I think of powerful people the first person that comes to my mind is not a leader of any country. Not our president. Not some diplomat.

It is Oprah Winfrey. We all know that Oprah is one of the most influential women alive.  She survived a hard childhood to become one of the most powerful women in the known world.

I could give your lots of statistics about her standing in the world. About her wealth, but I will not.  Let us agree to agree that she is number one.

And there lies my problem.  How can I reach a person that is so far above me that I am like a piece of sand on the beach somewhere?

I have a story to tell. I have had many stories to tell. I have tried numerous times to reach out to Oprah to no avail.

I have searched many of the websites that list how you can get in contact with famous people, but all they want is your money to join their club, with no guarantee that you will really contact the person of your dreams.

I want to reach out to people like Oprah because they have the power to help me get my story heard. I have several stories to tell, and I do not know how to reach the people that need to hear the stories.

Endless journey

How do you reach someone who is unreachable? How can I have a moment of their time when there are so many others reaching out and grasping as well.

I admit that I feel bad that I am grasping at straws, invading their space, excuse me, trying to invade their space, when they have a right to live their life in peace.

But I think with power comes the responsibility to acknowledge the little guy.  I believe with the wealth, fame, and the comfort of their life they should have an open mind. and a kind heart toward others who are struggling.

Let me stop here and shout it out to the world that Oprah has done amazing things for many people. I would never want to take that away from her. I applaud her.  If there was one person alive that I would like to be like, it would be Oprah.  

I am not a conceited person. I am not a guru of any kind. I am just a woman of 70 who has survived many things in her lifetime, who wants to share her journey with others, in order that it might lighten their load as they make their journey.

I have sent out books. I have sent out emails. I have looked at websites galore trying to find a way to reach out to Oprah, and others of her level of esteem to ask for their help, and in return all I have heard is silence.

Long ago I reached out to Oprah when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer.  I had just quit my job of 21 years to go back to school to get my nursing degree.  I left a great job, with great health insurance, to become a student with terrible health insurance, struggling to support a 16-year-old son, while going through chemotherapy and radiation.

During this time, I was working, going to school, being bombarded with toxins, and trying to survive to reach my goal of becoming a nurse. I reached out to Oprah, and I reached out to Ellen, we all know Ellen, with the hope that they might want to hear my story. That they might want to follow my journey and see if I survived.  In reality I was hoping for divine intervention as I was scared to death.

I had no idea when I first started my cancer treatments if I would survive. If I would finish my journey and become a nurse.

Well, I have survived, and I want to tell that story and reach others in  the hope that I may help them.

Into the silence came silence.  I never heard back from Oprah or Ellen.   I never received any acknowledgement that my plea was heard.

It was heartbreaking to not hear from these two wonderful women. I felt like I did not matter. I felt sad that neither of them felt my story was important enough for them to hear.  I felt degraded because I had knocked at their door, and no one heard me knocking.

Many years later I wrote my book on surviving breast cancer, titled  Screw Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Take Action Now. The New Mantra. The Controversial Rantings of a Breast Cancer Survivor.

I wrote my book with the desire to encourage others to take action rather than wait and see as I did. I listened to all the health care providers as they told me “ let’s watch, let’s wait.” 

I listened to the breast specialist as she told me it was “nothing, nothing, go to school.”   Sadly, I have known many others who have died from cancer while they were “watching and waiting.”

My book is small. Less than 120 pages, an afternoon read, but it has a very powerful message.

The book has been available on Amazon for almost a year. I still send out emails to television stations, newscasters, and others. I have sent out copies to nursing schools and media giants hoping they will see value in my book only to receive back empty silence.

It is heartbreaking to be caught in this void of emptiness. It brings tears to my eyes that nobody feels my story is worth their time.

Well, I have another story.  A new story.  One that has lay hidden for sixty-two years.  It is a nightmare that has haunted me my whole life.  It is a story that others need to hear.  It is a truth that needs to reach others so they can tell their stories.

Would you like to know the name of the ghost who has haunted me my whole life?  Would you like to know who the monster was that caused endless nightmares for years?  Who the person was who left his little daughter with her heart filled with sadness for all of her days? 

That ghost is my father as he molested me when I was eight and a half years old.  That story has lay hidden, not to be revealed, until I wrote my book “Shattered Trust A story of Incest.”  Both of my books are available on Amazon.

After writing my book on my breast cancer experience and continuing to be haunted by the waves of sadness that slammed into me at the oddest times.  I decided that I would write my story in the hope of releasing the demons that haunted me.  I had not decided to release the story in book format, but once I had written the words, I felt I needed to share the story. 

Again, I have reached out to Oprah many times trying to find someone who is able to share with her or suggest to her stories that she might find noteworthy. Again, all I hear is silence. 

I need help in reaching others.  I am an unknown.  I am a speck of sand in this great big world of the internet.  Help me reach her so that she can hear the stories, and perhaps be willing to share my stories with others.

Both stories are of survival although I never thought of myself as a survivor until I wrote my books. 

One of the statistics that I found states that every 9 minutes a child somewhere in this country is being molested by someone they know and trust, possibly someone they love.  

Every 9 minutes somewhere in this country a child is being molested by someone they know and love. But I say those statistics are wrong because we know that most cases of incest and rape go unreported.  Most victims do not tell their stories. Most cannot bear the telling of it.

I have decided it is time for my story to come out even though it has been sixty-two years (this summer) since the incest happened.

No one can tell another when to release their story.  Recovery takes as long as it takes.

So, I want to ask, where is Oprah?  How can I reach out to her? Who can open that magic door and let me inside?  Will she ever be reachable in an unreachable world?

I am sending this out into the clouds hoping that someone will be able to help me share this story. If there is anyone who has an ear to the grapevine or a door to the garden of hope. Please help me.

I am not a Prince or Princess. I am not a famous newscaster. There are no stars surrounding my image.  I am just someone with a story to tell who hopes to help others release their stories to the world as well.  Stories that may put our demons to rest.

I have this blog and there is a contact page for anyone who wants to reach me. I would love for someone to reach out and tell me how to talk with Oprah.  How can I send her my books and get my stories into her hands?  May the walls of silence crumble and fall so that a gateway will open to the magic that is Oprah.

It is hard for me to ask people for help.  I do not usually reach out to others.  I like to pretend that I am strong and able. But today I am asking for help. I am going to send this blog piece out into the clouds once again. Out into the empty space. I hope it will travel through the universe hitting its target.

One thing you may not have noticed about me in reading my blog is that I always try to look on the bright side of things. I always lean towards looking at our blessings.

And for today I am going to say that if you have something that you want to share, if you have a dream then reach out as well, do not let fear stand in your way. The one thing that we can all do is try, try to get our story told. Try to make our dreams come true.

Do not let fear get in the way. Do not let life stop you. Do not become saddened by the silence that may greet you, but continue to tell your story so that somewhere the echo may be heard. Maybe someone will hear your voice.

And I will end this as I always end, with my heartiest wish that you may have a great day today, because you and I  BOTH deserve it. And thank you for listening.

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Shattered Trust A Story of Incest

Hello. I finally released my new book on Amazon. It is a scary thing to put something so personal out there for others to read, but the story needed to come out. Rape and incest are so prevalent in our society, but when I was a child you never heard of those kinds of things happening. I am not saying they were not, I am proof they were, but people, and families did not talk about it. Sad for the victims who had to suffer in silence.

Silence is a deadly weapon used by many who do not want the truth to come out. For the victims who suffer, it only makes the nightmares that much worse. By telling my story I hope to release the demons that have haunted me my whole life, as well as to encourage other victims to tell their stories.

Do not let the abusers get away with their crime. I will post the link as soon as I can to my new book. I have been having some trouble with getting it to load correctly. I think it is just too new.

Thanks for your patience. I hope that you will read it and share it with others. If you have the time please leave a review as that would help with my standing in Amazon.

Check it out and please share your feedback. And as I always say, have a great day, you and I deserve it.

Now available on Amazon

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Here We Go!!!

Yes it is the new year, 2021. I can not believe it when I look at that number. I remember when I was growing up and thinking toward the future, 2021 was so far away. I thought we would have traveled far into another galaxy or dimension by now, but nope, we are right here, right now on planet earth. So what are we going to do different?

I say the only goal we really need to set for ourselves is the goal to be a better person! If we head that direction all the other little stuff will fall into place like eating right, exercising, controlling our anger, getting a grip on our spending, and loving our family. We can include forgiveness in there if we feel up to that part. Also patience with ourselves because change is hard on any level.

I gave up chocolate on the first of this year, and last night on the second night of the year I ate two chocolate muffins and drank a cup of milk. My reasoning was that I did not want them to go to waste, so I thought I should just get them out of the freezer, before they got freezer burn, and eat them. They were delicious and made me feel like shit. So much for that resolution. I will try another later.

We can set any goals we want, be anything we want, go in any direction we want. It starts with that first step, and that first day. As far as I am concerned everyday can be the first day, so today I ate salmon and salad. I feel great.

In the chaos that is flowing around I ask you to take a moment to listen to some really special music. Something soft and flowing, perhaps without words so that you will not be distracted. Let the music carry you away. Let go of your troubles and worries, they can come back later.

I listened to some of the most beautiful music by ” Hauser” he is one of the worlds greatest cello players. Actually he and his friend have been a group of two for years called 2cellos. They are fabulous. And they are lovely to look at too.

I listened to them playing the song ” hallelujah” and the music pierced my heart traveling all the way through into the universe. It was like I was at a standstill floating freely among the stars, and the music. It was so lovely. And no I was not under the influence of anything but the music coming out of that box and into my heart. I felt in that moment that there was nothing in life worth giving up such a wonderful sense of peace for. We must not let the day to day chaos injure our souls. It is not worth losing that sense of peace over some garbage that we can’t even control.

When you are feeling down find something to lift up your mood. Music is the best weapon against the dark side. It has the ability to help us let go of the inner turmoil. It is magical in it’s power to bring about a change in us, and the things around us. Music has been shown to even soothe the animal world.

So go to You tube, we all love You Tube, and watch a video by ” Hauser” or the 2 cellos and let your sadness and pain flow away. We are perfect just the way are. We just need a little tweaking every now and then, and music can be that instrument. And as I always say have a great day today, you and I deserve it.