Musings Archives - Page 2 of 6

March 31, 2023March 31, 2023

DEATH IS COMING.

Greetings, this is Kris, welcome to my blog cast.

Today’s topic is a sad one. I hate to admit it, but I don’t always feel real peppy and motivational. You see there will be a death soon in my household. Now for some of you who have never loved a pet you may not feel sympathetic towards me, and that’s okay. But those of you that have travelled this path know the heart break coming my way.

If you have been following along with my blog you know that Tessie, my lovely old friend, has been with me for some years. She has filled my heart with joy and laughter as I hope that I have filled hers. When people ask me what kind of a dog she is, I tell them Hawaiian, as my son got her when he was stationed there before going to Iraq.

Tess has been a part of our lives for thirteen years, and mine exclusively for eight. This lovely dog and I have grown old together. As for me I am not too decrepit yet, but Tess is not doing well.

You see her poor old body is full of “fatty tumors.” Things they can do nothing about, and I have watched as they have popped up all over her body. The worse are the ones I can’t see as she gets breathless, stumbles when she walks, and sometimes she just stands there like she is waiting for something to happen.

When she came to live with me, she became the motivation for both of us to get outdoors and walk. Together we discovered this wonderful park area not far from where I live. I didn’t even know there was such a wonderful place until we started our walks and explored the neighborhood.

We quit walking there years ago as I discovered another area that was much larger with many more trails, you may have heard me talk about the Shunga. But yesterday we went back to our old haunt as my poor little car would not start. My SUV is too hard for Tess to get into so a dear friend gave me an old Toyota echo so that she would not have so far to jump as we head out on our adventures.

Due to the death of this little car we returned to our old trails, our old pathways, and it brought tears to my eyes as I remembered finding this area when we first came together.

This haven is 43 acres of trees and grasses with little trails and ravines. Over the water are lovely bridges and fallen trees that let us take pause along our journey.

Over the years we have seen deer, turkeys, ducks, great big beautiful hawks, and once a gorgeous coyote. It’s amazing that as we began our walk Tessie remembered exactly which trails to take and followed the old paths we had trodden before. It was so heartwarming.

The tumors on Tess have gotten pretty large but they don’t stop her from walking. She loves her walks, she loves to snuffle. As I said, sometimes she gets so breathless we must stop and let her catch her breath for a minute. I don’t know how many breaths a minute a dog is supposed to breathe, but she is like a little train puffing away.

Despite all of this she’s an inspiration to me. Even when she is having difficulty, and probably some pain, she just keeps taking that next step. She keeps going which should remind all of us to take that next step forward as well and keep going.

We need to move past the pain and suffering because we do not know what tomorrow may bring. We do not want to miss an opportunity to see a beautiful landscape or feel the warm sun on our skin or miss having the cool breeze touching our face. Nature can be such motivation to keep going.

One thing I have noticed when I walk outside is that it is very noisy. The birds are chirping and singing to each other. There are woodpeckers hammering away, dogs barking in the distance, and the wind rustling the leaves in the trees. Not a quiet place, but a soothing, healing place. Some days I just want to lay down and embrace the earth it is such a gift.

Tess has been my companion for a long time, and I don’t think she is going to make it to the end of the year. It is the hardest thing for me to watch knowing that at some point I may have to put her down to ease her suffering. I pray every night that the lord will take her in her sleep so that she will not suffer, and I will not have to make the decision to end her days. It is tough one as many of you know.

I have already decided I don’t want any more pets after Tess is gone because at my age the only thing that’s in my future is who will go first, me or the pet. I have felt great love for this old dog, and we have had many enjoyable trips along our favorite paths. Soon it will end, and we will only walk in spirit along our favorite trails.

She never chased the other creatures, we were quiet observers.

There is a lovely story that Andy Andrews, a motivational presenter tells about his wife and their family dog. Every time his wife enters a room the dog gets so excited and happy wagging its tail and smiling at her. The wife in return hugs the dog and gives it little scratches. If the wife leaves the room again as soon as she returns the dog acts like she has been gone forever and gets all excited again, getting hugs and scratches once more.

Now Andy said he asks himself “why his wife didn’t treat him that way when he came home or entered a room”, and his response was, “because I don’t treat her the way our dog treats her, and that is with great joy when she enters a room, always so happy to see her.

Maybe we should treat each other like we have been apart for a long time and are filled with joy and love once we set eyes on each other again. Do you think it will make you or them feel better? Of course, it would.

All around us there are motivational things to soothe and relax each one of us. Things to fill our hearts with joy. We just need to open our eyes to what is there.

Did I mention she can be a coach potato.

If you are feeling down watch some YouTube videos. There are millions to choose from. They can certainly lift your mood. Listen to some gentle music. Look at nature videos. There are apps galore that provide calming nature sounds or music.

There was a study done where people just looked at a fireplace with a fake fire going and they reported feeling warmer just by watching. I have one of those fake fire heaters. You can use them without the heat on and it is very soothing watching the colorful flames bouncing about.

Sometimes we have to step away from the chaos in our life and there are so many ways to do that to help ourselves feel better. We don’t always recognize the feelings of the stress burdening our bodies until we let go. Step away, embrace something wonderful. Then you will feel it, you will feel the tension that was hardening your muscle, tightening your chest, making it difficult to breathe. We get so use to those feelings that when we let go it is like we are floating on air.

One of the best tools in my life to help me push away the chaos has been my sweet Tessie. I am so glad that she has been there with me. When her time comes, I will shed many tears of sadness, but I will also be filled with gratitude for our time together. I know that soon she is going to be gone. I hope it will be an easy passing. I dread the time will come when I may have to make a choice to intervene. Say a prayer for me and her that she will go in her sleep so that our parting will be an easy one. If you have a pet snuggle them close, just stroking their fur can lower your blood pressure and ease your pain. Love all the beings in your life, animals, and humans. Each is a gift we should cherish. And as I always say, “have a great day today, you and I deserve it.” ( she loved her girls,)

March 1, 2023March 12, 2023

“SEAT”

Hello, welcome to my blog cast. This is Kris and I’d like to share a few bits of information with you, perhaps give you a little boot in the butt.

Let’s start with the fact that is the first day of March, two months since we all laid down those new, New Year’s resolutions, and I want to have ask how many are still hanging in there? I will admit that I have already given up. Actually, I gave up in January. Yep, I go hard and fast and then slip and fall.

I am the first to admit that it is hard to make changes. I lose that enthusiasm rather quickly. I get overwhelmed with all the advice about new diet ideas ( not really new at all) foods to eat, foods not to eat, fasting, keto, low calorie, high protein, grains, no grains. My mind just shuts down from the explosion of information sent my way on the internet.

But I’m here to give you some more information. Sorry, but I have too. If you have read my blogs or you’ve listened in, you know that my site is not an advertisement for anything. I do not promote products except for my very own which I’m proud of and I think are beneficial for both of us. Otherwise, I don’t advertise or promote other people’s stuff. I find it a big distraction to what the author is trying to say if these pop ups fill the page.

Now you may have noticed the title of my blog, “ SEAT” which I am excited to say is promoting a new way of thinking. If you are half as aware as I am while I’ve slogged through the day overfed and under exercised, you too may have noticed all the new diet trends, food lists, exercises promoting promises of a better body, and a healthier you. I am here to say that this new way of eating has hit home for me. It is a message I agree with and I am excited to try. What does SEAT stand for you may ask, “Go ahead, ask.” It stands for “STOP EATING ALL THE TIME.”

They are always tempting us, the little devils.

“What the hell you might say, that sounds like something my grandmother would have said.” And you would be correct. We have become a society of stuffers, constantly shoving food or snacks into our faces hungry or not. We have destroyed our real sense of hunger because we never give our guts a chance to empty and rest. It is always pulsing and breaking down everything we drop down the hole. Churning, gurgling, sending out more acids to destroy more treats. It is a hell hole down there.

Let me ask you what do you do when you know you are going out to your favorite restaurant for a great meal? Do you shovel in the food all day? Most of us, and I am sure you are one of those, don’t eat much throughout the day in anticipation of the great meal coming our way. And what usually happens when we do this, hopefully for you and me is that the food is wonderful, and we really enjoy it.

That is the Key…That is what I am talking about. Most of the time we don’t even know what the crap we put in our gullet even taste like, we just keep stuffing it in.

This wonderful article talks about this and suggests we give our guts a rest. “If it is getting close to a meal, or you have a couple of hours, have a large glass of water with a slice of fruit dropped in for flavor or eat a half of a banana.” We do not need to eat as soon as we feel the first wave of hunger, we will not die, and our bodies will thank us later.

I know if my grammy was still here she would be the first one to say STOP EATING ALL THE TIME if you want to feel better. When we let our guts rest then it can rejuvenate and restore the good bacteria that lives in our bellies and help us stay healthy. Instead, we shove in more M&Ms making ourselves feel crappy, bloated, and miserable, not to mention the gas combustion that occurs.

Our lives and all our celebrations revolve around food. There are treats served at every event. There are more sweets and snacks along the store aisles than there is real food.

We need to get back to waiting to enjoy our meals. Enjoy the foods that we eat, and only eat when we are hungry. And as a bonus pay attention to what we are eating so that we can lead ourselves in a new, healthier, happy direction.

So I will admit that this new idea was stolen from someone else’s new idea, and probably said by someone’s grammy, and that is “ We need to STOP EATING ALL THE TIME.” I will add “Pay attention to what is shoveled down your throat as well. I mean if we are trying to be healthier, we can at least take it a little further.

While I was writing this piece I googled and found the article, and it first came out in July 2022 and then was released again the other day where it caught my eye. If you want to read the whole article here is the site https://www.you.co.uk/the-seat-diet-weight-loss-plan/ which I have attached the link.

It really is a great article and takes the staying healthy to a whole new direction. We all know that we need to be sensible about what we eat. We all know that we need to exercise more, and we know that we need to choose good food options, and not the sweets and fat laden things lining the wall all the way through the checkout counter.

I always say that the things we need to do to be a better, healthier, happy person is already in our knowledge bank, we just need to hear it again, and again, maybe in a new way so that we become motivated in the right direction once again. I hope this blog piece will motivate you, the article I read STOP EATING ALL THE TIME really hit home for me, and as I always say, have a great today, you and I deserve it.

Oh, that is better, I love cherries, and they are so good for you.

February 3, 2023February 3, 2023

Write It Down

Hello, welcome to my Blogcast, happy to see you back again.

She was in 8th grade, I believe, never went to High School, Third from right

Today’s topic or whatever you want to call it has to do with “our” family history. What do we know about our family’s history? What do we know of our parents’ life before we came along? I know with the advent of the Internet, and television programs like “Roots” people have been delving more and more into their family history. There are so many DNA and genealogy sites that allow us to trace our beginnings that I am surprised how little we know about the family members that are closest to us, at least in my case.

I was thinking about my mother the other day. She’s been gone since 1989 and I’m 72 years old right now. Sometimes I go back in time and remember small events as they burst forth like tiny bubbles. My heart feels sad when I think about her and what I don’t know.

My mother was born before World War two, she struggled, never finished school, married too young, had children too soon, and ended up working her whole life as a waitress or bartender.

I am ashamed that I never knew what my mother’s dreams were. I never knew what she herself had wanted to become. And sometimes that breaks my heart because I am sure that my mother would have wanted to be something other than what she was at the time of her death.

I have pictures when she was young. When she married. Movie stars weren’t any prettier. I think girls back then seemed so mature for their age. Maybe it was because they survived the hardships of a war.

In my favorite picture she is sitting in a chair posing for the camera. I am sure she was filled with dreams of the future. I know she married my father who was not a good person. Or maybe that only came later. If you’ve read my previous blogs, you know that he was a monster in disguise, at least to my sister and I when my mother moved out.

My mother had children but I’m not sure that she wanted them. This was at a time before birth control. We all just came along a year and a half separating each of the first three. Five the last one.

I have a ring that belonged to my mother that she wore all the time. It’s a lovely ring. It’s very frail so I don’t wear it very often. But it came from somebody who my mother once loved that was not my father. The only thing I know about the history of this ring came to me after her death.

My grandmother revealed that this was from a man who wanted to marry my mother at some point in her past after she had children. And he gave her this ring as a token of his love.

Grandmother said he was very wealthy and that she “tried to talk Nellie” ( my mom) into marrying him. Grammy said he was a wonderful person, and my mother would never have had to work another day of her life. I could see the sadness wash over my grandmother’s face remembering what a hard life my mother really ended up living. My conclusion is she didn’t want to stick this man with a family when he had never been married so she ended it. We were a chaotic bunch.

I do know that my mother wore this ring every single day until she could no longer wear it. Swelling from age and disease made it impossible later in her life so she passed this ring onto me two years before she died. I could tell that it was very hard for her to part with this treasure when she finally gave it up. Sadly, she never shared the history.

Now that I’m looking at this ring and remembering what my grandmother told me little bits of memories have come back into my brain and I wonder if what is there is part of her story.

I remember my parents separating when I was about 8 years old. My mother moved out of the house and left us children behind. It was quite the shocker for everyone. That was something that wasn’t just done.

Actually she left three of us behind, I think she took my youngest brother with her because I don’t have memories of him being there for that year and a half she was gone.

My imagination says that she left my father and her children because of the romance that resulted in this ring being given to her. I think she fell in love with somebody and chased her dream for a short time and then came back to reality and her family.

I am sorry if she gave up her dream for us. Who knows what our life would have been like if she would have followed her heart.

Now that I am old and memories flicker through like channels on an old television I remember driving through a “ritzy” part of Detroit one time with my mom. She wanted to show me where the rich people lived.

Did I mention that we were usually at poverty level or lower throughout my childhood? Yep, so this was a treat for both of us. On one side of the throughway were mansions like I had never seen before. Big, beautiful homes. I think Kid Rock and Eminem live there now just to throw out some names.

And on the other side was the Detroit River where you could spot boat docks, I mean mini yacht docks, of the rich and famous. It was breathtaking. And one day just recently I thought to myself were we taking a drive down “memory” lane for her ( remember her secret person was very rich) or were we just site seeing. I have a memory too of driving past an ex’s home because I missed him passionately. Do you suppose that is what she was doing?

What I don’t know about my mother makes me feel so sad. As a child and young adult I was selfish and never paid attention to her dreams or her wishes. I am sad that I didn’t get to know her as a person with hopes, fantasies, and passions. I just knew her as my mom.

My advice to you is to document, to write down, to journal things about yourself to let your family members get to know you in some way. Tell them what your dreams are even though maybe you weren’t able to follow that path. Maybe you had to go with reality instead of fantasy. Let them know how many people you loved. It’s OK if you didn’t get to accomplish your dreams or all of your dreams. Share your history so that your children and your children’s children will know something about you that puts you into the realm of a real person. Some day they will be interested in their history. If you wait to long those things will be lost.

I remember my second husband’s mother was from Russia and as a very young woman worked for the Russians at a US military facility. She had numbers tattooed on her wrist, and as the story goes she met my father-in-law who later hid her and her friend when the Russians came to take back their Russian citizens. Soon afterward they married and he sent her and her friend to the States until he got out of the army.

There is an empty hole where her history has been lost. A part of her that her family wished they knew. Something she did not want to share and later could not remember. Her family does not know what her life was like back in Russian, where she lived, how she got those numbers on her arm, and much else from her early life. Now it is something that will never be shared and that is so sad.

Write your stuff down, someday someone may want to know where they came from, the people who came before, the real people and what they were like. It can help us understand parts of them, and parts of ourselves. Don’t hog your story. Share it. Don’t be ashamed! Everyone has made good and bad choices. It is part of who we are and how we survived. And as I always say, have a great day today, you and I deserve it.

January 13, 2023January 13, 2023

THE NITTY GRITTY

Hello, welcome to my blog cast, it’s wonderful to have you back again. I hope 2023 is starting out on a good note. I’m sure you are as sick of shopping and food, as well as all the New Year’s resolutions shouted from the rooftops as I am.

I will say for me it’s time to get on with the nitty, gritty of meeting some of my goals. I have found through the years that while I am a creative person, I am not very good with following through and completing my task. Recently I came across a meditation that a very dear friend of mine and I created many long years ago, but never released.

I listened to this the other day as I found it in a drawer somewhere and the sound of my friend Eunice’s voice brought tears to my eyes as I realized that the world may never hear her words if I do not release the CD to the public.

As what happens in everyone’s life, I’ve gotten tied up in the day-to-day garbage thrown my direction, without ever following through on my goals of what I really want to be accomplishing.

Life does that, the day-to-day responsibilities gets in our way. Our obligations to family, friends, and the world in general seemed to stop us from moving forward. Or at least that’s my excuse.

After listening to Eunice’s voice, and the words that we created together to bring about this meditation tape, I realized that I don’t want her voice or my voice to get lost in the wilderness. I truly feel that the words she has to say and the meditation that we offer is such a gift to everyone that I’m offering it on my Market Street page for those of you who would like a copy of their own.

While thinking about what lies ahead for me at the ripe old age of 72, the sound of the clock ticking away battering me with its reminder that time is slipping away is frightening when I realize that I can no longer think of a 30-year mortgage because I won’t be here in 30 years. When I cannot think of a 20-year loan because I may not last that long. But the saddest thing for me is to realize that my dearest friend, who is no longer here may never have her words heard by anyone.

I’m not going to let laziness or feeling overworked, or self-pity get in the way of me putting out this CD to all of you.

When I created this blog, it took me days to figure out how the hell to do anything. I spent hours and hours searching all the websites I could find. I cried in frustration as things kept falling apart, not registering on my blog, and getting lost in the great universal pit. But I did not give up.

Now I have decided that I will not give up until I get our CD out into the universe for those who need to hear Eunice’s words to help bring peace and balance back into their life.

Once upon a time we thought of doing great things. We had a lot of good plans. We wanted to help so many people. But instead, life got in our way, and we ended up on separate paths and lost each other along the way.

I am not going to allow this beautiful meditation to be lost. I am not going to prevent my friend’s voice from speaking to the masses. I am going to work to put our CD “ Chakra Lights Meditation” out into the universe and hope that those who need to hear her words will listen to our meditation and find peace. Perhaps you too will find this a source of motivation so you can move your life forward as I am going to move my life forward as well.

May I wish each one of you a great new year. Don’t let others stand in your way. Take control of your life. Set realistic goals that you can meet. Be gentle with yourself. If you fail start over because we all fail. And if you fall down get back up and begin again.

I would also like you to take a moment and listen to the sample I have included as Eunice’s voice guides you through a short relaxation. This is how the CD begins. And as I always say, have a GREAT day today, you and I deserve it.