Have you ever thrown a rock into a pool of water and watched the ripples run along the surface? The wave goes on and on for some time. It’s mesmerizing. Even after we are no longer able to see these ripples they are still traveling through the water, sometimes all the way to the other shoreline.
The same is true when we throw something through the air, the molecules in the air move and the ripple continues on, possibly to infinity. I believe our words have the same effect. They travel through so many.
This ripple effect is a powerful occurrence, and in the context of this blog it means that any action or inaction that we take has an effect on the things going on in our lives, and the lives of those around us.
When I was studying mediation I was taught that everything we do has a ripple effect on all the things around us. They can be positive or they can be negative. We must decide how we want the ripples to influence others.
Just contemplating our actions or in-actions before we move forward can influence our behavior to do better, be better and to help others or to be mean, hateful and hurtful.
Right how in this time we are having so many hateful words thrown out into the world from one person to the next. Hateful acts of violence in the name of what? Bodily harm done to so many that is influenced by the haters cheering this behavior on in others.
Beauty is all around us.
Have you ever had someone say or do something terrible to you? Think about that ripple effect that might have occurred. You probably felt hurt. You might have treated someone else badly, and then went home to your family and treated them badly. All because someone did something to you.
Can you see the ripple effect in your life when you think of your actions in any given moment? Did your actions make someone cry, feel hurt, or did they leave a smile on their face, perhaps a little hope in their heart? We each have that kind of power to hurt or help. How we choose to use it falls on us. Take a look at the world and see all the horrible ripples running through right now. We must change the course of the hate racing through this great country. We must be an example of what we expect of others.
I forgive all those who are caught up in the chaos. There is much that has happened on both sides of that story. Our feelings, and the feelings of others are so contagious. I ask that each of us stops for a moment and ask ourselves what we are projecting out into the world around us.
Sadly our children are seeing this chaos and reacting in a bad way as well. We must show them that forgiveness is a good thing, caring for another human being shows our humanity, and helping others is not a bad virtue, but a high goal to reach toward.
I say open the window in your heart and let the fresh air in. Let the past be past. Reach for a brighter day. Help the children let go of their fear, a fear that I am sure is consuming their little hearts as they see the adults in their lives going crazy. Assure them that all will be well. Tell them it was just a moment of insanity for this great world we live in.
Together we have the power.
Each of us can make it a better day for those around us by being kind. By being respectful. By demonstrating the kind of treatment that we hope to receive from those around us. We have the power to make this country a better place. We have the power to be a better human being. It just takes one person, just like that one drop of water to begin creating an ocean. And as I always say have a great day today. You and I deserve it.
Hello this is Kris, welcome to my blog. I hope that you are looking forward to Christmas, and the holidays as they will soon be upon us. If this is not a good time for you then give it a new meaning. Make it something more personal, something that will bring You happiness. Did you know that Constantine, a Roman ruler started this celebration on December 25th in the year 336AD? It was a way to push Christianity to the masses. And it is still going strong!
If you’ve read my blogs in the past, you know I’m not real fond of Christmas thanks to an unhappy childhood.
When I look at all the chaos in the world it’s hard to feel happiness, joy, good tidings, and cheer. I am not even sure most of us know what Christmas is really about!
We definitely know it is about spending money, shopping, buying gifts we can’t afford, pasting on a happy face, and listening to Christmas carols as soon as Halloween is over.
But what is Christmas really about? We know that it’s not Christ’s birthday because the experts cannot agree on the actual date and time, although I read somewhere it started with “ Christ Mass” thus the name, a mass that was held for Jesus.
This is really what it is about!
I’ve also read that Saint Nicholas played a part in this celebration by starting the gift giving part one year. And if I did a google search there would be 98,500,000 bits of information at my fingertips. Okay, I looked! But really, what does it mean to you.?
For me it is a time when I get depressed when I have nothing to be depressed about. I think it is in my genes as Christmas past for me were not so good. I struggle with not allowing these feelings to take control as I have many things to be grateful for. I have children and grand children whom I love, but sometimes it is just hard.
Now I know this is not a very motivational blog piece, but I want you to know that it is okay for you to feel down and/or depressed as long as you pull yourself out of that pit.
Do not let yourself give into feeling bad. It’s okay for a few moments but look at what you have to be grateful for. I know if you and I could have a conversation I could help you see that there are many things you have to be thankful for.
There are people in your life who care. They don’t have to be family if yours is crappy. This season does not have to be about money, or gifts. It needs to be about feeling joy within.
There is hope on the other side of that tunnel
When I stop the whining and look at what I have, I am amazed that I can walk, talk, think, work, create, hold my bladder, and make whatever choices I want to make about my life. It is not about giving anything, unless it is something I want to give. It doesn’t have to be tied to any religion unless that is what I want, what you want.
We have been given this spot-on earth to do what we will and can for ourselves and each other. We do not need to give it a name. Just call it being human. Things are crazy right now. People are afraid of each other. There is a lot of hatred surging across this planet earth.
We each need to tune into feeling good about life. This IS a great world, there are great people in it, and we can be one of those as well. Yes, I hear the news, but I demand that the networks start telling us all the truth, not just the parts they want to keep us estranged, but that will bring us together.
There are people everywhere doing good things for others. All I ask is that you do things for yourself and the people around you. The hell with calling it Christmas, let’s just call it being kind.
If you are one of the masses who need help then reach out. Do not be afraid or ashamed, we are all here TOGETHER to help each other. It can be in big ways or small ways. The joy comes in that you get to choose.
If your depression is really smothering you, seek help. There are many help lines, emergency services, and people who can help you get through the hard times. We all have needed help at one time or another. There is no shame it choosing to take that next step in seeking help. I have posted one of the help lines to this blog, but you can pick which one you want to use. Just do not give into the depression, fight back, it only takes one foot in front of the other to lead you in a new direction. And don’t worry about the holidays, they will be over soon. And as I always say, have a great day today, you and I deserve.
Hi, this is Kris, welcome to my blog. I don’t usually do back-to-back blog pieces, but I really wanted to talk to you about this topic as there are so many rallies going on right now
I have wanted to share my feelings about abortion for some time, and even though I may be a day late, that’s OK, sometimes a little voice is heard more than the voices of many. I hope this will be the case.
I would like to start with a poem I wrote which will be the only words I transcribe into this blog; the rest will be me talking because I have a lot of ground to cover. So, just look at my poem, sit back and hear what I have to say. Afterward I would certainly like to hear from you so send me an email through my blog page.
I think my poem says a lot. I’d like to suggest you read it several times. Every time I say the words out loud, I am surprised by their power. It’s very intense, and I think it says it all right there in just a few words.
I do not write poetry. This poem came to me after watching some folks on television picketing against abortions and their counterparts preaching a “women’s right to do with her body what she wants” which makes me sick. So here is my poem because sometimes we just need to say what is in our hearts.’
I have a poem
Some say My Body, My Choice. Then comes coupling, obscuring the voice. one heartbeat, then there are two. One must die, who will choose. Little voices screaming in my head. You can’t be here, you are dead. Bits and pieces on the floor. How can you stand all that gore? My Body, My Choice. Can’t you hear its tiny voice?
(I have attached the whole document in case you wanted the whole transcript)
Hello. I finally released my new book on Amazon. It is a scary thing to put something so personal out there for others to read, but the story needed to come out. Rape and incest are so prevalent in our society, but when I was a child you never heard of those kinds of things happening. I am not saying they were not, I am proof they were, but people, and families did not talk about it. Sad for the victims who had to suffer in silence.
Silence is a deadly weapon used by many who do not want the truth to come out. For the victims who suffer, it only makes the nightmares that much worse. By telling my story I hope to release the demons that have haunted me my whole life, as well as to encourage other victims to tell their stories.
Do not let the abusers get away with their crime. I will post the link as soon as I can to my new book. I have been having some trouble with getting it to load correctly. I think it is just too new.
Thanks for your patience. I hope that you will read it and share it with others. If you have the time please leave a review as that would help with my standing in Amazon.
Check it out and please share your feedback. And as I always say, have a great day, you and I deserve it.
I am going in a totally different direction today. I want to talk about a topic that I have never spoken openly about in the past. I had an epiphany the other day while I was browsing Facebook, and I want to share this new perspective in the hope that it may change your perspective as well.
Many of us react in a certain way when our daughters or sons reveal to us that they are gay. The first thing to come to mind is the sex part. “How can they have sex with a woman or man of the same sex?” I know when I my daughter first revealed to me that she was leaving her marriage of ten years for a woman she had recently met, I was shocked.
I could not believe that she was attracted to a woman, and that she was willing to change her whole life over this attraction. I was mortally wounded that she would disrupt our lives, and selfishly thought only of my feelings under the guise of worrying about the family.
I grew up with a certain perspective about life. About what direction our lives should go in the whole scheme of things. Shock slammed into me along with a bit of cardiac pain over the fact that my daughter could be gay. I wondered where this came from. I asked myself had she always felt this way. I wondered about her sanity at leaving her family behind to live a life as a gay woman. Need I say there was a barrage of questions that screamed through my brain along with a load of disappointment.
It is hard for me to admit my initial feelings. I tried to hide my true reactions under a mask of acceptance. I could not understand how she could feel this way, how she could let it lead her astray, and how she could leave her life behind. A life that I thought was fairly good. Let me say it again, the life I thought was fairly good. And there lies the dilemma.
Parents, to include myself, have a certain picture of what we want our children’s lives to be as adults. There is wealth, of course. There is success, naturally, and there is stardom. Never do we see them being anything else. We have lofty goals for them, and when this does not happen, we are let down. I would never have guessed that my daughter was gay. She hid it so well.
I spent years puzzled and questioning my daughter’s sanity because she left behind a “good life” with a husband who made a ton of money, a nice home, and a wonderful child, to live a life of uncertainty. I honestly hate to admit that is how I felt, but I must admit to it, to explain my new perspective.
Life is more than a sexual act with another, it is more than sex between people. There is so much more to a relationship then just that physical part. I am not saying the physical part is not important, because it is, but what each brings into that relationship is so much more vital to our sanity, and well-being. Many couples have stayed together “ for the children” only to find that their children were miserable the whole time.
We should not judge people, let me backtrack and say, I should not judge others by some label that has been applied to them or any group of individuals. We are seeing this so much in the news right now. It is toxic and deadly.
I need to put this in perspective for me. I must not judge others by what I think or how I feel they should live their life, so that it fits into my idea of a good life.
Love comes in my shapes, sizes, and colors.
I had an epiphany recently, which is unfortunate it took me so many long years, regarding my daughter and her life. You see my daughter and her partner often post pictures on Facebook, and one day this revelation came to me, and that is that she is in a great relationship with Ali, her partner.
Their pictures are full of fun, good food, and great family moments, sadly I am not in them. What the pictures reveal is a lot of happiness and joy in their lives. What parent could ask for anything else for their child?
We get so caught up in what we expect life should be, and the labels we embrace that we miss the whole picture. Then we miss the real life behind those labels.
My daughter’s pictures demonstrate how much she and her partner care for each other. They are always together having one adventure after another, and that is so wonderful. Many of the pictures show them surrounded by lots of friends and family.
I will admit here that my granddaughter, my daughter’s daughter, has a wonderful relationship with her mother, who was involved in every phase of her life, up to and including this present moment in time.
The epiphany was the realization that Ali and my daughter are meant to be together. That they each fill a void in the others’ life.
Our goal in life, our real goal, should be to be the best person that we can possibly be with the time we are given. With each encounter with another person something is gained. An exchange occurs, be it good or bad. I really believe that there are no coincidences in life. We are meant to meet; share what we have to share, and then move on or not. It is our gift to each other.
Each interaction happens for a reason, I really believe this. The people in our life are there to help us become better humans. We choose whether we are going to learn this lesson.
When I looked at my daughter’s pictures what I realized was that perhaps their connection is meant to help them feel loved, confident, secure, and safe in a world that can often be unsafe. They are fulfilling a necessary role in each other’s lives.
Who am I to judge them, or anyone for that matter? How dare I feel or think that their way of life, that their choices are wrong. Our goal is to be better people, and I think they are the greatest. That can never be wrong.
When I see those images they posted, I feel such happiness for my daughter and her partner for the joy they have found in each other. I am thrilled for her that her life appears to be good, that she is happy in her relationship, and that she is satisfied in her life. That is more than many people can say about their lives right now.
We want our children to accomplish great things, but what does that mean? Are we saying we want them to have a wonderful, high paying job that may not necessarily be filled with happiness?
Do we want them in heterosexual relationships that might just be shitty because that “other word” is not to our liking?
Or should we hope that they find happiness and become the best they can become, because that is what I hope for my children, and grandchildren. I want them to find great people, really great people to help make their lives happy.
When we look at our kids and their significant others, we need to ask are they kind to each other, are they considerate, do they respect each other, are they supportive, are they a help mate or an abusive mate? That is the question!
Each connection that we make with another happens for a reason whether it is a millisecond, hours, days or lifetime. We are together for a reason, and we should ask what lesson there is to learn in this relationship. What gift can I give to this human?
There is a story about a doctor and a homeless man. I will tell it, but I am not going to write it down. And here it is. …………..
Is it a true story, I do not know, but the message is clear. We do not know what our influence on another might be in that moment we are together. We should make it the best moment for both of us. Hopefully, we will walk away feeling a little better having met. If not, we have failed as humans.
I hope that my moments with others are good ones. My daughter’s life is not about who’s gay or who’s not gay or who’s having sex or how they’re having sex or any of that, but instead begs the question, is she a good person, sharing her life with good people? That is my real goal for her, and it looks to me like she has accomplished that goal.
I want to say when we are judging people, judging their lifestyle, we need to ask ourselves what am I really judging here, my ideas of life, or theirs? We need to ask how can we look at them differently? And, the most important way is to ascertain that they are good human beings. That is more important than any label, name, or category we could possibly place them in. I am sure you have heard this saying “I may not remember what you said to me, but I will remember how you made me feel.” I for one want to leave you feeling a little better for having met.
To my daughter I want to say “I am so proud of you.” You are a wonderful person, and I love you so very much.” And to everyone else I want to say thanks for stopping by and HAVE a great day today, you and I deserve it.
